Your guide to activities and fun things to do with your preschoolers, toddlers and kids in west la, CA

Why Preschool is a Safe Place for Parents to Grow Up

by Susan Choi

August 24, 2009

Last week my oldest daughter started kindergarten camp at her new school. It is hard to believe she has hit this milestone already but here she is. I don't quite understand why she is so excited to start kindergarten. Maybe she got a secret memo that all students will be assigned a unicorn and a fairy godmother. In any case, when we got to the campus which appeared to be as large as a college campus, my daughter proudly walked through the gates. As I walked her to her class, we passed by ten foot boys and girls, and I wondered silently what high school students were doing on the campus. Then I realized that fifth graders are literally twice my daughter's age. I wrapped both of my arms around her as we walked, afraid of the moment that I would have to leave her for the day. We entered her classroom and were welcomed by a dozen students and a friendly teacher. My daughter gave me a kiss goodbye and tried to send me on my way. I left extremely reluctantly. When I found out there was a field trip at the end of the week, I asked if they needed any chaperons. "Nope, we're all set. It's time to let your little birdie leave the nest." Okay, maybe she didn't say that "leaving the nest" comment but that was the look she gave me when I asked to tag along on the field trip. I got back into the car and sobbed. I called my mom for comfort but all she could hear on the other end was high-pitched wailing.  

As I smothered my toddler son the rest of that day (I refuse to let my baby grow up in warp speed like my oldest has), I realized how wonderful preschool is. It is a small, safe environment for parents to learn how to slowly let go of our children. I'm sure you probably think I am one of those parents who coddles her children and whose life revolves around them. Believe it or not, I am not...which is why I was so shocked by how emotional I got the day of kindergarten camp (I'm already prepared to completely lose it on the real first day of kindergarten). But I just felt like I was dropping a guppy into a tank full of sharks and hoping she survives the day.  

I admit that I cried on the first day of preschool too. But that was for totally different reasons. She's my first born and I felt like it was the first big leap towards her imminent departure from my home...you know...for college. But it wasn't a sense of panic that brought on the tears. It was just the understanding that I had to let go. Preschool is wonderful for that (I realize that I am speaking from a full-time mom's perspective so I apologize). It is the first time that we learn to entrust our children into the hands of others, and also learn to trust our children. It is a place where all the little things we hope we are teaching them are practiced without us hovering over them--like washing hands after using the potty, not snatching toys away from others, and taking turns. It is the first time that they choose their own friends. We can't tell them to stay away from the boy who likes to say poo-poo too much or the girl who eats her boogers. It is a G-rated world where the S word is s-t-u-p-i-d.  

Preschool is where parents take that first step towards not being the eyes, ears, and brain for your little ones. You are eased into it. Sometimes just twice a week for three hours at a time. And even then, when your kid picks up a bad habit from another kid in class, that sense of dread washes over you like a shot of Nyquil. It's not pleasant at first, but after a while, you feel warm and tingly. If it wasn't for that girl with the older brother who has been teaching my child how to making farting noises with her armpits, my child would still be perfect! But you realize that the trade-off is kind of nice. During that time away from your child, you could go to the gym, the grocery store, clean the house, and read the first ten chapters of War and Peace--wow, was I always this efficient with an extra two hours of time? Or you actually spend some one on one time with your baby who you never noticed had blue eyes because all those months you were breastfeeding, you were holding your baby in one arm, and wiping your newly potty-trained son's butt with the other. In any case, you get used to it pretty darn quickly. You embrace the idea of your child attending preschool and feel like this is going to be it. For two years, you are surrounded by the same twelve kids, you know all the moms, dads, nannies, siblings, grandparents, second cousins twice removed. It is a safe world. Then the world as you know it is ripped from you like a band-aid on a hairy arm. It hurts. A lot.

I know that I will get used to kindergarten and elementary school. I can't help but feel all the more grateful for preschool--the safety and comfort it provided me, as a parent, to let go of my child slowly, before entering the big world of grade school. And with that, I bid you adieu, Savvy readers. This is my last week. I am enjoyed my tenure but it is time for me to move on. I leave you in the capable hands of Elise Crane Derby, a former preschool teacher and blogger extraordinaire!

 

For the Mature Funny Bones: Humorous Books for Adults

by Susan Choi

August 03, 2009

Last week we talked about funny books and characters for your kids. This week, let's talk about funny books and characters for adults. In 2000 BC (i.e. before children), I was into high brow humor, movies, books. I wanted my entertainment to be a cerebral experience. Yes, I was a snob but I just thought I should be enlightened as much as possible. Now, watching someone slip on a banana peel and pass gas would be my idea of a perfect comedy. Nothing that requires too much thought or concentration since I am generally trying to fold laundry, pay bills, or respond to emails while I am watching a DVD. And those rare nights I can lie down and read a good book (aside from Twilight), I really enjoy reading comedy. These are a few books that I have read recently that were great ways of being amused and entertained.

Operating Instructions by Anne Lamott--I actually read this book a while ago when in the midst of two kids under the age of two, and feeling sorry for myself. Reading this book helped me to feel grateful for my spouse, my support network, and my faith. But it also allowed me to laugh at myself as I could relate to the never ending poop episodes and the vacillating emotions of love and fury that I felt towards my children, depending on my level of sleep deprivation. Mostly, it helped me to realize that I wasn't alone. Our lives with our children are both magical and mundane. Her book reminded me to laugh--especially when I wanted to wallow in self-pity.

Porn for New Moms by Cambridge Women's Pornography Cooperative and Susan Anderson--Before you call up my editor to get me fired for recommending this book, it's not what you think. Yes, there are pictures of half-naked men with bedroom eyes and suggestive poses. But these photos are coupled with quotes like, "Damn! You look hot in those sweatpants! or "Don't worry, honey. Your mother and I will take wonderful care of the baby while you and your girlfriends are at the spa." I can't remember the last time I laughed so hard. It is a great book to give to a new mom (who has a good sense of humor)--just be sure to read through it yourself first. I guarantee it will have you wiping tears from your eyes from both laughter and perhaps wishing that those words would come out of your spouse's mouth.

Calvin and Hobbes by Bill Watterson--Everyone has their favorite cartoon characters. Calvin and Hobbes is mine. In college, whenever I wanted to take a break from studying, I would pull out my books and just start rolling on the ground laughing. I was reading the books again the other day and it has now taken on a new dimension for me. Whenever I hear my girls playing games and randomly applying a new rule to the game that would put things in their favor, it reminds me of Calvin. I think Mr. Watterson did such a great job in capturing the creativity and hilarity of childhood. Before, I just found it funny. Now, I can relate to the inner workings of a devious child's mind.

David Sedaris--For NPR listeners, you may recognize his name from his humorous special commentaries. I enjoyed listening to Mr. Sedaris on the radio and stumbled upon his books recently. After reading them, all I can say is, I am grateful that I did not grow up in the Sedaris household. Luckily, someone else did and lived to tell the story. I have read two of his books, Me Talk Pretty One Day and Naked. They are so funny but I really appreciate the fact that he and his siblings grew up to become functioning members of society. It gives me hope that my kids will survive growing up under my roof and escape my crazy mothering skills relatively unscathed.

Don't forget to take time to laugh with your spouse, with your kids and by yourself today!






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Weekend Warrior: Father's Day

by Susan Choi

June 18, 2009

This weekend is Father's Day! Celebrate the dads in your life with some homemade pancakes (courtesy of the kids), neckties (courtesy of Bloomie's), and a special activity to honor the superhero in your life.

The Craft and Folk Art Museum is holding a "Listen, Learn and Make Family Workshop" on Saturday from 1:30 pm to 3:30 pm. to create a unique gift for dad while reusing recycled materials. Bring in small objects and other forgotten treasures, and make something special for dad. A selection of materials with also be provided. RSVP required.

Lakeshore Learning Stores are hosting a free crafts for kids event on Saturday from 11 am to 3 pm. Your kids can make, what else, a tie for dad.

Come celebrate the centennial anniversary of the Santa Monica Pier with the School's Out Event on Saturday from 11 am to 5 pm. They will feature a variety of top-notch activities and performances for families and kids of all ages including the Cirque du Soleil "Circus Play Area," a lot of different interactive dance activities and performances, a puppet show, and fitness and art activities. Also, check out a new interactive kid's guide of the pier.

The Rogue Artists Ensemble is performing The Story of Frog Belly Rat Bone on Saturday at 10 am and 2 pm, and Sunday at 2 pm. The story is brought to life by using music, puppetry and projections. "Pay what you can" for admission.

The Zimmer Museum is hosting Family fun day on Sunday from 2 pm to 4 pm. Your kids can make, what else, a tie for dad. Free admission for dads.

Kathleen Zundell will be continuing the Saturday Storytelling Series at Children's Book World this Saturday at 10:30 am. With her puppet pal, Philbert, Kathleen engages children with silly jokes, tales, and poems. Free to the public.

Kim Wayans and Kevin Knotts, author of Amy Hodgepodge will be at the Central Library on Sunday at 2 pm. Amy Hodgepodge is a story of a multi-ethnic fourth grade girl and her adventures in a new city.

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People Who Need People: Making Friends for You and Your Children

by Susan Choi

June 01, 2009

When my older daughter was four-months old, we moved from the Bay Area to Los Angeles. Back in the Bay Area, I had so many friends who had children so I would have been very comfortable with a support group already established. Moving to a new city with a new baby and no friends was terrifying. We first moved into an apartment near Roxbury Park so I walked there almost daily in the hopes of meeting new people. That's when I realized how much I sucked at being outgoing, friendly, vivacious. There was a reason I was in yearbook and not in cheerleading in high school. So I would sit on the park bench with my daughter whose physical activity was limited to drooling and wondered why it was hard to make friends for my daughter and me. Five years later and two more kids later, I am going through a similar process with my one year old son. But this time around, it is so much easier. Here is what I have learned along the way to making friends for my children and me:

No mom (or dad) is an island. Whether you are a working parent or a full-time parent, you need to find a support group beyond your family. Fellow moms and dads are great at empathizing, being a sounding board, or giving advice for situations that only we could understand. Also, being a first-time parent is scary. It is very helpful to hang out with other parents so you realize that you're not the only one who feels like you're drowning in diapers, onesies and the occasional self-pity.

Can't we all just get along? I love being in LA for many reasons. One of them is the diversity of people you'll meet. And as many different parenting philosophies there are out there, you will meet the parents who follow them, from Dr. Sears to Dr. Dobson to everything in between. For the most part, everyone is accepting of each other and we learn from each other. From family beds to breastfeeding toddlers to disciplining, I feel like I seen it all and it is great because my kids have seen it all too. What we have learned is that we're all different but we're all okay. It has lead to some interesting questions from a two year old like, "Why does John have two moms?" but like a beauty pageant contestant, I manage to answer the questions with grace and poise, and wrap it all up with world peace.

The Dating Game. When I first moved down and was trying to meet people, it was like I was out in the dating scene again. I was going to mommy and me classes and moms group, scoping out the landscape. After talking to a mom a few times, the class time ends with the mental game: should I get her number or ask if she wants to hang out after class? I remember the first time I got asked out to playdate, I called my husband so excited. "She asked me for my number and wants to go out together on Thursday!" These days I am less desperate to meet people, but I am also more outgoing. I don't hesitate to get a phone number and schedule a playdate. I figured there is nothing to lose and who knows? I might end up meeting a new lifelong friend for me and my children.

Here, There, Everywhere. Wondering where to start meeting other parents? They're everywhere! Classes, parks, and recreation centers. I have met my friends through mommy and me classes, my daughters' preschool, church, this blogsite, and trying on maternity clothes at Old Navy. It's amazing how much people are seeking community and how many cool parents you can meet. I keep thinking of the profound song that is sung during an Elmo's World episode on friends. I'll leave you with the words (doing this from memory since I've seen it oh, 547 times, but if some of the words of off, please forgive me):

Stretch out your hand and say hello
You might meet someone just like you who's really good to know
It's really fun to see how friendships grow
when you stretch out your hand and say
ain't life just grand and say hello!
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Date Night at a Coffee Shop

by Nina Moon

July 17, 2008

Since my youngest is only two months old and still nursing on demand, when my husband and I do get to go out on our own, we usually give ourselves about two hours. Besides, since we'd prefer to put our two-year-old to bed ourselves, we're usually not out of the house till after 8pm. By 10:30pm we're more focused on keeping our eyes from shutting than reveling in romance. We're wild and crazy  Read more...

All About Me -- Date Night at the Hollywood Bowl

by Nina Moon

June 19, 2008

When I was pregnant with my first child, my husband and I were told time and time again, The best thing you can do for your marriage after you have kids is to have regular date nights. It's sage advice, but when you combine a nursing newborn, the high cost of childcare and two exhausted parents, date nights end up pretty low on the to do list. Now that we're starting to get this whole  Read more...

Weekend Warriors: Father's Day edition

by Nina Moon

June 13, 2008

When our weekends aren't already filled with kids' birthday parties or visits to the grandparents' house, my husband and I quite often look at each other dumbly, wondering what in the world we're going to do to fill the time. Half the time we just end up puttering around the house or maybe spending a few hours at the park. Sound familiar? Well, hopefully we'll be able to overcome our seemingly  Read more...

Daddy Dearest - 5 Father's Day Restaurants

by Nina Moon

June 10, 2008

Mothers are so often portrayed as the ultimate multi-taskers juggling kids, household chores, family schedules in addition to their real jobs. But in our family at least, both mom and dad are multi-tasking. I juggle caring for our two children during the day with cooking, cleaning, freelance work and soon preschool co-op responsibilities, but my husband doesn't come home from a long day at  Read more...